I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
COCAINE IS GR8
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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