the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
