Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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