so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
