I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
