Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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