This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
