HIV tests are more positive than that guy
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
