love makes seman taste better
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
