Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
