If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
