she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
