He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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