What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
