If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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