Don't you send me to vm
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
