you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
