So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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