A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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