so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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