We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
