I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
