yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
