I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
