After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
