Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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