ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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