No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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