I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
COCAINE IS GR8
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