I am puke
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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