mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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