We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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