Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
