idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
