I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
