they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
