WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
