Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
