I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
