Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
