Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
