Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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