Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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