"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize