im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
