Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you never un-have a 4some
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
