It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
