Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
