She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
