I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
