chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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