I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
